xmas

was the night befur Christmas

and all through the Castle,

Not a creature was stirring, not even my vassal!

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, and my supp-hose draped over the back of a chair;

The family were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of catnip mice raced through their heads;

When the rest of the family had all hit the sack, I had just settled down to a nice, tasty snack,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the floor to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below.

Then, what did I see as I peeked through the slats,

but a miniature sleigh, and six scrawny reincats,

and a little old driver with big, furry paws...

I knew right away it was old Sandy Claws!

More rapid than beagles his coursers they came,

And he yowled, and he growled, as he called them by name;

"Now Tommye!, now Opie!, now Sammy, and Wigitte!

On Groucho! on Freya--there's no time to fidget!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!

As mice that before the wild felines do fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, jump furry high;

So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,

With the sleigh full of toys, and old Sandy Claws too.

And then, what I heard on the roof struck me dumb--

the scratching and howling was making me numb!

As I drew in my head and was washing my paw,

down the chimney came Sandy with a mighty MERAAW!

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his coat was all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A great empty bag he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes -- how they glittered! his whiskers--how gnarly!

His jowls were enormous, so puffy and snarly!

His fangs they extended way down to his chin ,

And the fur of his body was as black as all sin!

With the tail of a toy mouse held tight in his teeth,

the picture he made was beyond all belief!

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

That shook, when he moved, like tunafish jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a tubby old Tom,

but I shook when I saw him--I lost my aplomb!

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head

soon gave me to know that he wished to be fed!

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work--

devouring my treats with the zest of a Turk!

Then pointing his middle claw straight to the sky,

he gave me a wink with his rheumy left eye!

Before I could act, up the chimney he rose;

as he left, he appurred to be thumbing his nose!

His team gave a cheer and away they all went,

taking my snacks and not leaving a scent!

Then I heard him exclaim as they galloped away,

"TRICK OR TREAT TO YOU, QUEENIE, HAVE A NICE XMAS DAY!"