Goldie:

Tell me, Dolly, how do you manage to keep your kittenish complexion?

I use all these creams and lotions, and nothing seems to eradicate

those fine lines that hint at the onset of maturity.

 

Dolly:

They not only hint at maturity, Goldie, they positively scream it! That's why

I don't spend a lot of tunas on cosmetics that don't work. You see that big

bottle there, in front of the others?

 

Goldie:

Yes, I see it. (almost as well as I see the teleprompter...I wish I had my glasses)

It looks furry dark...what is it?

 

Dolly:

You may well ask...it is a secret furmula used by Cleocatra and carried down

through the ages until it reached the pharmaceutical industry, where the

secret has now been revealed.

 

Goldie:

Why, Dolly, that is fascinating...but what is it?

 

Dolly:

I cannot tell you that...only your pharmacist knows...but it is called

"Eau de Feline" . As a dedicated user, I can swear that it is potent

and effective, yet gentle as a headwash from your own mother.

 

Goldie:

Tell me, Dolly, does it work as well on Torties as it does on other cats?

 

Dolly:

As you well know, Goldie, I am also a Tortie, and you can see what is has done fur me.

 

Goldie:

Meowie me, Dolly...I must have some. Where can I get it?

 

Dolly:

Unfurtunately, it cannot be bought in stores. It is available only

through Tiffcat Enterpurrises. To order your 30-day supply, call

555-PURR, and have your Castle Card handy. That's

555-PURR.

 

Goldie:

Golly mew, I'll call right away! And you ladies in the audience,

order yours today and wake up tomorrow to a new mew!

 

Goldie whispering to Dolly:

Oh waa, I can't wait to get into the dressing room and change out of this hot dress!

 

Dolly whispering back:

Neither can I. It got all sweaty while I was running from that Peeping Tom at the library,

and I think he has followed me here!