Rachel

Odds and ends
 
I am a skeptic at heart . I am always amazed at the powers of our bodies - which may
in itself be a testament to a higher power - and so I always wonder if things I see or hear
are "just in my mind." But I keep a little tally in my head, of the things that have
happened in my life that I can't dismiss. They are like pieces to a puzzle, each piece
helps me see a little more.
 
Here are some of my puzzle pieces.
 
When I was little, maybe eight years old, I was dozing on the couch. My sister was on
the phone, fifteen or twenty feet away. I heard both sides of the conversation, as clearly
as if the other person was standing right there. In my half asleep state, it seemed not
strange that this was happening. Cool, yes, but not strange. I became more alert as
my sister got off the phone, and I told her, I repeated the conversation and she said
yeah, that's how the conversation went.
 
This same sister, a few years later, was perturbed when we were playing cards and I
told her that it was pointless for her to try and win, because the next card was the three
of hearts, which was what I needed. I "read" cards another time in college, knew
exactly where certain face cards were. It seemed to be something that came over me,
but that I certainly can't control. My skeptical side says it is just a matter of probability.
Maybe.
 
Certainly a dream I had when I was thirteen goes against the odds. In many ways this
seems to be the most verifiable experience that I have had, although it seems like a
silly event - I dreamt that I was bussing tables at work. Now at the time I was saving
candy bar wrappers, for a contest or promotion that was going on. In the dream work
looked different. The tables in the dining room were long, instead of square. And as I
was bussing the tables, I found two snickers wrappers in an ashtray. I woke up thinking,
boy that was a strange dream.
 
When I went to work it was deja-vu. The owners had some big parties coming in that
night, and had pushed the square tables together to make long tables, oriented
exactly as they had been in my dream. It was like walking through the dream. As I
bussed the "candy bar" table, I knew that I would find the snickers wrappers in the
ashtray, and sure enough I did.
 
I think the most "heavenly" experience I had was when I was twelve. I was praying to
god that I might be able to pursue my own desires in life, and also saying that I was
willing to give those up if what he wanted was something else from me. It was a very
heartfelt and sincere prayer. I was overcome with a tremendous sense of love, it
washed through me like an ocean wave, and made me glow for days. To this day it
has been the single most positive experience of my life, despite having a full and
"successful" life, and many close friends.
 
Some experiences are easier to ignore, but I believe they are genuine. I had a dream,
when I was about 25, in which I was involved in a murder. I won't go into the details, but
there were quite a few. As I woke up I could still feel everything that had just transpired -
the blood, the smell in the air, the sounds. Most amazingly, as I was awakening my first
thought was NOT "thank goodness, that was a dream," but instead was "yes, but that
happened a long time ago." I have thought about checking the details on this event,
since it might be recorded somewhere, but have been a little apprehensive about
knowing too much about it.
 
Another sense of a past life came as I went into labor with our first child. The first labor
pains were accompanied with a sense of "I remember this." That is what it felt like
before.

That child lived only a few days. As we were working through our grief we had a few

experiences that I think were from her. I remember thinking that the foxglove in our
garden was a symbol of her, because she had a heart defect and foxglove is
medicinal for heart problems. The morning we learned we were pregnant with our
second child I looked out the window and almost fell off my feet, the foxglove was
blooming to beat the band. I had had no idea that it even had buds.
 
All these experiences have made me want to know more. Lately I have been trying to
learn actively rather than waiting for more hints. I have been trying to look at my
dreams, trying to look at other states of consciousness, trying to see how easy it might
be to talk with loved ones who have passed on. I tried to talk to a friend recently, I
asked him his father's name in order to see if the contact was genuine. I thought he
said a name, and when I checked, the name was right on. I feel good about pursuing
these things from a proactive stance, learning what I can for myself.
 

 

 

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