After a quick stop at Dog's Irish Pub for a cuppa Irish Joe and a salmon-jelly donut or two, Sergeant Pussnagel arrives at the Precinct, eager to receive his orders. He is at first puzzled, then alarmed to see the entire Furce (with the exception of Chief Charlie and Officer Polly) staring at him accusingly. What bothers him even more is that Opie is wearing the Sergeant's cap.

 

 

Pussnagel: (Off screen) Hay fellas, wat's this? You iz all heer, excepp fur Cheef Charlie an Offisur Polly. Are we havvin a partey er sumthin?

Commisioner Billy-Bub: Yeah, we izz haffin a partie, but you aint infited. Tha fack iz, Ex-Sargent Pussnagel, uh....lemme see, I had it wrote down heer...uh yeah, it sez, "Pussnagel, yer fired!"

Pussnagel: Oboy! Wat duz yer meen I izz fired? I hopes ya gotta good reezin--I meen I hopes you wuz jis jokin. Yeah, that's it! It izz Aprul Fool's day, ain't it? An yer all playin a good joke on me, rite?

Billy-Bub: Wrong. You izz bein fired fur wat da Qwene sed...uh...derelickshun ov dooty, or sumthin like that. Also, ya aint bin doin yer job lately. An anuther thing, ya ate tha last of tha donuts I wuz savin fur bedtime.

Pussnagel: That dont seem fair sumhow. I et em becuz I wuz afraid they'd git stale. Allso, I wuz hungrey. Hay guys, what duz youse think abowt it? Ya know, us fella offisurs gotta stick tagether.

Inspector Leopod: We sure duz, an I'm sticking with tha Commishunner. One a them donuts wuz mine.

Sergeant Opie: Yeah, I haz jist bin appoyntid tha noo Sargent, an I lykes dis capp. Itz a little two big, butt I tink I kin grow inta it. I votes youse is owt!

Sister Catrisha: I agree with Commissioner Billy-Bub. If you had been patrolling the party site as you should have been doing, instead of dancing--ha! I say that loosely--with your Southern Belle girly, my crystal might not have been stolen. Because of your negligence, my fourth life has been ruined.

Pussnagel: Well, I guess that's it then. I'll jist mosey along on ofur to tha BFCC an see if I kin git a job there. I heer CAD iz lookin fur furry intellijunt catz ta joyn their furces. (going slowly and sadly out the door) Goodby, ole frends....hey, I'm still waitin fur ya ta yell Aprul Fool!

Billy-Bub: Well, thass ofur. Sniff! I think I smell sammon, an there iz sumthin in my eye. Gimme a Kleanex.

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