July 2005

 

Catty Corner

 

Around and About with Bitsy

 

continued

 

 

***

 

Letters from our readers

 

(fur those who think I don't dare print them)

 

If you readers have something to say about anything, you are welcome to write me!

 

Here is a copy of the letter I wrote to Freya after reading the June BFCC Newsletter:

 

 

My dear Freya,

 

I peeked in as you suggested and was not only surpurrised by what I heard, but I was also deeply offended!

Imagine Chuck's thinking I am old enough to have made the furst American flag...not only am I too young,

I am not that good a seamstress! I suppurrse I should consider it a back-handed (or whateffur it is that

groundhogs have) compliment, but I still believe it was inappurrpriate. Purrlease set him straight on this

issue and tell him I would appurrciate a letter of appurrlogy that I may purrblish in the next Purrsuader.

I await your reply confurming your compliance!

 

Yours furry purrly,

 

Bitsy

And here is the following correspondence:

 

Well .... geesh ..... yu're getting sort of persnitity in yur ol... err ... recently.  Since yu're such an ole... err ... ah ... good fren,

I will complys.  But ... az yu ken imagine ... it takes a bit of purrsuasion to get dat Chuck to rites a ledder.  He ackually

thoughted dat wuz a wonderfur thing yu done - making dat flag.  An yu du realise, don't yu, dat groundhogs haff a

different conseptical of time dan we superior beings duz.

 

Yur fren, Freya

 

***

 

Yur Moth High Queen Bithy,

 I wuth thad to hear dat yu did not make da furth American flag.  I thoughted yu were thomeone really famoth, but wuth wrong.

 Fweya thaid yu were mad at me.  I don't really underthand why.  I do know dith - yu did not make dat flag an yu are a Queen . 

An liffing with Fweya, I knowz dat Queenz and uppity gurl catz get mad furry eazy.

 

I hope yu're offur being mad at me.  Why don't yu come offur and watch TV wiff me in my tunnel? ]

I haff plenty of good fingz to eat.  AND it'd be all free.

 

Yur fren, Chuck

***

My dear Chuck,

Thank you fur the appurrlogy! Freya explained to me that your conception of time is not the same as ours,

so purrhaps you didn't realize that cats do not usually live in excess of 200 years. I hope you do not think I

look that old...but since you have no concept of real time, you might not know how old a purrson of that age

would look. In any case, I furgive you fur the mistake.

 

Also, thank you fur the invitation. I would love to accept, but I have a full plate at purresent. Purrhaps another time.

 

Yours furry purrly,

 

Bitsy

***

 

My dear Freya,

 

I received a letter of appurrlogy from Chuck, and have furgiven him fur his transgression.

Let us hope he is careful of what he says about me in the future. I'm sure you would not

be amewsed if he or anyone implied that you were several centuries old,

no matter what a wonderful thing you did during that time.

 

Yours furry purrrly,

 

Bitsy

 

***

 

That having been settled, here is a letter from Pickles Pinkerton, who appurrently takes exception to

my exposure of that unruly Tom, Rhett, in last month's Hidden Camera section.

 

 

Mews, Bitesy,

 

I wuz kwite dismewed to see my boyfren Rhett besmirched in your rag dat you call "Da Purrswader".  Him

wudn't haff been "exposin" anyfing if dere wuzn't a cambra stuck in his face!  In hims own liffin room no less!

 Dat's like stikkin a hided cambra in da dressing room at the Two Queens Costumery and den arrestin da gurl

fur undecent eggsposhure!

 

 Hmpft.

And in da meantime, Biggie Fries keep doin his badness wiff nary a cambra in site.

Sinseerly,

Pickles Pinkerton

***

 

My dear Pickles,

 

I believe the camera was on his disgustingly exposed parts other than in his face, in case you cannot tell the difference.

As fur the camera being hidden in the Two Queens dressing room, indeed it has! You can never be too careful about

cross-dressers sneaking in,which did happen on at least one occasion. Furtunately, Chief Polly was on hand to take them

into custody.

 

Do not worry, Biggie is riding fur a fall, as I have my eye on him.

 

Yours furry purrly,

 

Bitsy

 

P.S. I shall purrblish this letter in the next Purrsuader.

 

***

 

My dear Readers, I am furry anxious to have your opinions on the scandalous behavior of who knows how many of our

kitizens, who have taken up the revolting habit of cross-dressing. When you turn to Page 3, look at Crime Repurrts and

you will get my drift! Do you or do you not appurrove? I await your letters!

 

______

 

I am open to comments on all issues, so send them in!

---

Or visit Bitsy's Furum and post them there.

 

***

 

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