The music is "Sheep May Safely Graze" by J.S.Bach

Bitsy was born in June of 1991, to one of Poppy's daughters--a black and red tortie named Crisanthemum (Crissy). We were in the midst of a heat wave,and a terrible flea problem developed. I had been told you're not supposed to flea-spray a pregnant cat, so we didn't. Then, you're not supposed to flea-spray a nursing mother cat, so we didn't. You also aren't supposed to flea-spray kittens under--what is it, three months?--so we didn't. In the meantime, Crissy was so miserable from the opressive heat (and the fleas) she didn't want to stay with her kittens. We kept her with them in a large carrying cage, but she was not happy and would hardly allow them to nurse.

Under these conditions, the kittens became weaker day by day. I gave them supplementary feedings of evaporated milk and water with an eyedropper, and they were finally weaned and able to eat on their own. But then they developed diarrhea which we couldn't stop with medication. They became dehydrated, and also being anemic from flea-bites, they just couldn't survive. One by one they died, in a matter of days--that is, all but Bitsy. She ate well, but the diarhhea wouldn't stop. A neighbor of ours, who has many pets, brought us some new medication, and gave Bitsy a king-sized dose of it. By that time I had little hope, but I trusted Barbara--she had helped us treat our pets on other occasions, with positive results.

The next morning I went into the kitchen, and was dismayed at the sight of Bitsy lying on the floor. Her tiny legs would not hold her up--she couldn't stand or walk. Sure that we would lose her that day, I wrapped her in a towel and sat on the couch, cradling her in my arms. I must have sat there for hours, weeping all the while. Then, at about 1pm, she crawled out of the towel, jumped to the floor, and proceeded to walk to the kitchen, where she devoured some cat food left from the other cats' feeding--and no diarrhea afterwards. I couldn't believe it--it was a miracle! I always thought of her as my miracle baby.

Ten happy, healthy years later we needed another miracle. Within a period of two weeks Bitsy went from the picture of health to a mere shadow. Overnight she stopped eating, developed head tremors, and could not keep her balance. This happened on a Saturday night, so we couldn't get her to the vet until Monday. We took her in that morning and left her for blood work and xrays. I called the vet later that day and was told she had an enlarged liver and was quite anemic. The xray suggested a mass of some sort in her intestine, but it did not appear to be a tumor. That part was encouraging, though I didn't like the sound of the other problems.

On December 3 I sent this message out to a few friends who knew Bitsy was ailing: "Good news today...Bitsy is better, and ate this morning! Dr. Baker says the liver is enlarged and there have been some changes, but it isn't as bad as she thought at first. If she hasn't improved more by tomorrow she should have an ultrasound to see what's going on. I have a feeling she will improve. Bitsy is a survivor, you can't keep a queen down. *G* "

Tim and I went to see her that afternoon. She seemed alert, though weak, but she purred for us. She had just had a transfusion--her red cell count was way below normal--we went home hoping and praying this would give her strength to fight off whatever was causing her problem.

On December 5 I sent this message to the short mailing list I had compiled. I wasn't ready to send it to the larger list. This was the saddest news I ever had to report:

"My sweet, special, precious girl went to the Bridge in my arms this morning. She had totally rejected the transfusion...her body had destroyed all the cells. I called the vet at 8AM, was told that Bitsy has pulmonary edema and was very critical. We went in...she was on oxygen, breathing was very labored. I sat with her for awhile, then she was trying so hard to breathe that she panicked and tried to get out of the warm box they had her in. Dr. Baker took her out for me to hold. In minutes she was gone. This loss is unbearable, but I'll have to bear it. Dr. Baker will do an *autopsy to see what caused all this. I still can't believe it."

It seemed that my Miracle Baby was only entitled to one miracle in her life. I am thankful that she had a happy, healthy ten years with us, and that her period of suffering was short.

Bitsy went to the Bridge at approx.8:45AM on December 5, 2001.

*The autopsy report showed cancer throughout all internal organs. How it could have been that widespread without earlier symptoms, I'll never know.

One thing I do know about Bitsy is that she was fiercely independent, strong-willed and courageous--a true Queen. The real Bitsy was not a great deal different in personality and temperament from Queen Bitsy of the Net. My life has been so entwined with both of them they were at times hard to separate...but life has rudely reminded us that it does not last forever, and we have to make the separation and let one of them go. It hurts too badly to know my sweet, precious baby is gone...she fought so hard to survive... never complaining...courageous to the end. I try to think of the years when she was happy and healthy, ruling the household as QB rules Catdom, but it is very hard not to think of her last days when her little body could no longer contain that indomitable spirit. She will be forever in my heart until we meet at the Bridge.

With Love,

Doris

December 22, 2001